


Starting to Look Forward (Always Thinking Of Him)

by CycloneRachel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Puns, Confessions, Developing Friendships, Gen, One Shot, after their conversation in that episode, takes place during 4x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 07:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16321613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CycloneRachel/pseuds/CycloneRachel
Summary: "Don't you know I miss him, too?"Or, an unexpected confession leads a conversation between Alex and Brainy in a different direction than either of them would've thought.





	Starting to Look Forward (Always Thinking Of Him)

“I miss him too.”

It was the first time he’d admitted that to himself, or out loud to someone else for that matter. He didn’t want to miss him- he knew Winn would come back. He had to. So really, there was no point in it.

Yet… he did. As much as he’d challenged Winn, and (admittedly) been difficult in his own right, he still saw that things were different without him, and that as much as he tried, he’d never measure up.

Ironic, really. He was overqualified to take Winn’s place in the DEO, just as he knew Winn believed himself to be underqualified to take Querl’s place in the Legion.

(It was a lie. He _was_ qualified- and a part of Querl thought that the Legionnaires might get along with Winn much more than they ever had with Querl himself)

Yet he would never fill the emotional quota that Winn’s friends expected. He would never be as close with Alex, or Kara, or James or Lena or J’onn.

They’d always see him as second best, and that was something he wasn’t used to.

He resented Winn, just a little bit. Although he thought little of himself, he’d left that much of an impact on those who knew him best- and that put pressure on Querl that he neither wanted nor needed.

But he still hated it.

He didn’t hate Winn, however, even though Winn might’ve thought he did.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

Alex says nothing, only standing there with her mouth open, staring at him.

“I… I miss Winn.” Querl elaborates. “I am aware that I did not know him very well, and as such do not deserve to miss him as much as someone like you, who was as close to him as a sister is to her brother… but I only thought you should know that. And that I apologize for making him feel like less than he was, because I now see how truly important he was- and still is- to you. And-“

“Brainy.” Alex says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t need any qualifications to miss him. It’s okay.”

“It is?”

“Yes. And I’m also sorry, for how I’ve been acting towards you. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but I should have considered your side, and I truly regret that.”

“I do forgive you, though.” Querl answers. “Although…”

He thinks of Winn, and how he acted when he attempted to give him his first goodbye. How much he regrets not giving him another one, this time with the proper gesture he’d been trying to perform.

“If you must know the truth, I did not only miss Winn because he’s my friend.”

“What?”

He knows Alex understands what he means, she’s just surprised he’s admitting them at this juncture.

He still elaborates, however.

“In this time, I believe you would call it a… crush. The infatuation one feels for another, though they know said person will not react the same, and attempt to cover up those feelings with other ones, when confronted and asked about the possibility of said infatuation. That is what I felt for Winn- still feel, to this day- and why, when I said goodbye to him the first time I left the twenty-first century, I tried to kiss him.”

Alex raises an eyebrow.

_I can’t wait to tell Kara about this._

“Go on.”

“It was on his forehead- a respectful farewell gesture, for any kind of relationship in this century and my own. However, when I tried to take hold of his face, to keep it steady while doing so, he pushed my hands away, and instead we only performed what he called a ‘bro-hug’. It was pleasant enough, but… I sensed he was uncomfortable. And that, undoubtedly, I was the cause of said feeling.”

“Well, when most of your interactions have been you belittling him, I’d expect that.” Alex answers. “To suddenly go from you and him being rivals to you showing him that much affection- like flipping a switch. He was just caught off-guard.”

“I do apologize for that.” Brainy says. “I should not have done so- at least, not without establishing that I did respect him first. Even though I did compliment him, and give him a present before I left.”

Alex nods.

“That’s good.” She answers. “But… maybe next time you see him, you might not want to come on so strong. Take it slowly- in general, for any relationship- and whatever partner you have will respond more positively.”

She closes her eyes, breathing in, and Maggie’s face fills her vision, as she still remembers her when she exhales, and speaks again.

“Trust me.” She says. “I’ve been there.”

“I apologize.” Brainy answers. “I, also, did not consider your experiences- perhaps this is a sign that we should talk more. As Alex and Querl, instead of Director Danvers and Agent Dox. Is that alright with you?”

“I think we’ve been doing that.” Alex says. “But, yeah. Whenever you want to talk, about the Legion, or about Winn, or anything… I’m here.”

Brainy nods.

“And I am here too, if you wish to discuss anything in your life with me. I would understand if you did not, but-“

“It’s okay. We might as well get to know each other, while we’re stuck together.” Alex says. “And… I gotta say, my first impression of Winn wasn’t as good either.”  
Brainy expected the conversation to be over, but she’s brought up something completely new, and he has to know more.

“It wasn’t?”

“No. Winn, um… was into Kara. Like, loved-her-since-she-first-met-him into her. He had a serious crush on her, too, though it was more serious on his end. And, when Winn’s dad was causing trouble, after he broke out of jail, Winn kissed her, confessing his feelings. She was pretty shaken up by that, and she told me all about it, and from then on I think Winn was nervous around her. The two of them weren’t on the best of terms, until Winn eventually got over himself and they became friends again. And that was my image of him, the guy who had a crush on my sister, until I had to get his help in dealing with Brainiac 8 and realized just how smart he really was. And that’s how I’ve seen him, from then on.”

“While defeating my ancestor.” Brainy says, folding his arms.

Alex sighs, as he turns off his image inducer, and she remembers just how similar Indigo is to him, in terms of looks.

“I’ve never thought of you as being like her.” She answers. “I mean, I knew- Mon-El told me your name, before we woke you up, and I was on edge. But you’ve been helping me- helping us- since then, and sometimes I even forget that you’re also a Brainiac.”

Brainy almost smiles.

“I wish I could forget that fact.” He says. “Yet, people in the future… seem determined to remind me of it. And that, as much as I try to prove otherwise, I will eventually become just like the rest of my family.”

Alex pulls him into a hug, hearing those words, and he accepts it, as unexpected as it was.

“You’re not.” She says. “Neither is Winn, or Lena, or even Kara or I. We’re our own people… and I wish I could’ve seen that about you earlier.”

“Yes.” Brainy answers, closing his eyes and feeling, deep down, the beginnings of a familial bond with the woman he now knows as his boss. “So do I.”

“So…” Alex says, as she pulls away, trying to lighten the mood with a wide smile, and a light tap against his forehead. “I guess there’s no use in feeling _blue_ now, huh?”

“I am always blue, Director Danvers.” Brainy answers, turning his image inducer on. “Even when I do not look it.”

Alex groans.

“Do you know what puns are, Brainy?”

“No. Should I?”

Alex rolls her eyes, walking behind him and pulling out his chair.

“Yes. And sit down, because you’re going to want to take notes.”

Brainy smiles, even though her tone is so serious.

“Whatever you say, Alex.” He answers, and as he does, he knows things will be alright with the two of them.

He just has to give this time. Which, as with most things, he’s a bit of an expert in- though right then, he’s content not to voice that fact, and instead only to listen to Alex, as she knows she wanted for him all along.

He regrets that it’s taken this long for him to realize that, but he suspects he will have even more time to prove it, as she starts speaking to him again- and, for once, he’s completely silent.


End file.
